Engage With Your Family

Engage With Your FamilyHow much do you engage with your family?  I started asking myself this question after reading an article on drug addiction. The article suggests that after further research, rats that were given drugged water were able to beat their addiction depending on what type of cages they were in, and if they were alone or not. You can read the article Here.

What more can we do to engage better with our families?  Here’s a little thought from me.

Ok…here’s the scene, Moses is sitting at the dinner table on top of the mountain with the Father.

God: Moses, I have something very important I want you to do.   I’m going to write my commandments on these two stone tablets, and I want you to take them to my people so that they will know My rules for their lives.

Moses: Just a sec, Dad I have to send this last text.

 

How many times have you seen it in restaurants, or even at your own table… families sitting down to eat meals together, and then out come the phones? No interaction or engagement, just scrolling and chuckles over what’s on the phones instead of who’s in front of you? Is this family bonding?

I’ve seen children gleefully exclaim, “Mommy, Daddy, guess what I did today,” with parents replying, “Just a sec, I have one more text to read… one more picture to look at… I’m on the phone.”

Message received:   Your phone is more important than me.

 

We’re so often trying to engage with clients, and friends, via our phones, and then forget to engage with those most important to us. There is a time and place for everything.  When it’s family time, let it be family time.

Some parents may ask during the teenage years, “Why won’t my kids talk to me? Why won’t they let me know what’s going on in their lives? Don’t they know that I’m here for them?”

My question is are you paying attention to them now? Are you giving them your undivided attention? Of course, you can’t give children your complete attention all of the time, but when it’s their time, pay attention.  And there are also situations where no matter what you do to try to engage your family, they may not be willing to engage, but we must keep trying.

A better balanced person makes a better business person as well.

Put your phones away at dinnertime and engage with your family. Talk with them and see how their day went. Mealtime is supposed to be a time for bonding, and coming together with those you love.

I’ve never seen this beatitude:

“Blessed are the texters for the shall be called… (the ones all alone?)”

You fill in the blank.

Phones are just an example. What are you doing instead of engaging with your family?

  • Watching tv during dinner?
  • Playing on a your computer, iPad, or Kindle?

Make A New Rule:

Put all devices, and/or distractions, away at dinnertime and engage with your family. You are needed now.

Tell me your thoughts on how to best engage with your family.

 

Live 2 Inspire

BG Jenkins

 

 

About 

BG is a wife, mother of 2, grandmother of 3, and a former realtor living in South Texas. Her current ventures are in the area of affiliate marketing, writing, and spending time with her family.

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bgjenkins

BG is a wife, mother of 2, grandmother of 3, and a former realtor living in South Texas. Her current ventures are in the area of affiliate marketing, writing, and spending time with her family.

20 thoughts on “Engage With Your Family”

  1. Nice article BG. That was always one of my beefs growing up.
    My Dad insisted on having the news on at dinner time. I hated that.

    I have never had my family sit down with phones at the dinner table yet. When that happens it will be phones in the living room please. Engaging with your family over dinner is very important.

    We engage with our family now using Facebook. Pics and messages even talking on the phone via facebook. Great way to connect with family far away. Would be unengaged without it.
    Kathryn Maclean recently posted..Engagement Facebook – Why do you want it?My Profile

    1. Hi Kathryn, We also watched tv at times at dinner time. It can be very distracting and cuts off the conversation. I also appreciate the use of modern technology so that we can visit with our children now that both of them are out of the city with us. It’s very nice. Thanks for commenting.

  2. Great message BG!

    When I was away with the family, my step son was constantly on the phone…even playing soccer with his 8 year old son. Finally the little boy came to my husband and said “Papa..can you play with me? I see that you don’t have a cell phone in your hand”

    It broke my heart! But I see so many parents on their phones even at restaurants. Their kids are distracted and sometimes start shouting. Not the kids fault but the parent.

    Where is the eye contact? The play? The communication anymore? I could rant, but I’ll stop here.

    I am 100% with you!

    -Donna
    Donna Merrill recently posted..Are You Chasing Fast Money Or Building A Solid Business?My Profile

    1. Hi Donna, I agree. Kids need to look into eyes of someone who will affirm and love them instead of constantly begging for recognition.
      Thanks for visiting and commenting.

  3. Hi, BG

    Due to the emergence of smartphones and of social media sites like the Whatsapp, people are constantly messaging or reading messages. Most of the time, they even forget about what is happening in their immediate surroundings. When people spend more time on their gadgets, they forget the great fact that they are losing some of the precious time they need to be with their children or spouse. The best solution to avoid such a situation is to avoid usage of such gadgets during important hours of our day that we need to properly utilize with our family members.

    Thanks for sharing this valuable and thoughtful message. Hoping to read more posts from you soon.

    Have a great day.

    Reji Stephenson
    Reji Stephenson recently posted..7 reasons why you should have a personal blog alongside your niche blogMy Profile

    1. Hi Reji, I agree. That is a great solution. I think we all need to look at those habits that sneak up on us that can cause these kinds
      of problems and then stop and think of the harm they are causing our relationships. Thanks for commenting.

  4. I know it does help to share our burdens with others, receive love, comfort, and be accepted. It should start at home, with our family. That may or may not be the case for all.

    When I was growing up, TV time was scheduled. I was expected to focus on school, sports, and chores. TV time, you may or may not have heard of this, was considered “boob-tube time.” Or a waste of time.

    Today, we have many more options for TV and it can be very educational. But, I agree that at meal time, family bonding should be the focus along with feeling relaxed and eating healthy.

    Great post!

    Deborah
    Deborah A. Ten Brink recently posted..Perspectives And Staying On Track For SuccessMy Profile

    1. Hi Deborah. When I was little TV time was scheduled but when we grew older it wasn’t. And I’m not saying that I’m not guilty of any of this… I have been.
      But, when I see so much more of it I will have to say it bothers me. I feel that we need to honor our family time. Thanks for commenting.

  5. When my children were young TV wasn’t allowed on at dinner time and I refused to buy a second set. Having to share a TV did cause arguments, but getting them to agree to a schedule of who watched what, and when, helped a lot.

    It was before the days of mobile phones so I didn’t have to face that hurdle.

    Like many aspects of parenting it’s tempting to take the easy way out by giving in but you’ve got to look at the long term picture, and how what you do effects their future life.

    My younger son has a disability, with autism symptoms and it’s a different story with phones and tablets. They and headphones are constant companions when he’s out, to cut out noise and other stimuli. Without them he’d not be able to eat at a restaurant or face large crowds. They help him cope with and experience life outside home, although he’d still prefer to stay home hooked to electronics. It’s me that says “please will you play with me”, let’s go out somewhere fun…. 🙂
    Sue Bride recently posted..Edit Social Media ImagesMy Profile

    1. Hi Sue, I think you have the correct idea, I wish I would have done better myself. You’ve just shown us another side of it. When you have a child that needs those
      things for his being able to cope, is a different matter. That is a good point your bring up, there’s always two sides to every story. Thanks for commenting.

  6. Hi BG,
    You are so right about there not being enough family time. Too many people seem to be stuck in front of a TV and / or a games console instead of spending valuable time talking about their day or having interesting conversations. The art of conversation is dying I think.
    I could go on for hours about this, but better not 🙂
    Barrie
    Barrie Evans recently posted..Form Is Temporary, Class Is Permanent – Persist With What You Really Want!My Profile

    1. Hi Barrie, I’m sorry…I’m late in this reply… I found it in my spam. I’m sorry. I agree… the art of conversation does appear to be dying. We must learn to reengage again. Thanks for commenting.

  7. What a thought provoking subject BG 🙂
    Brought up way before mobile phones we always ate meals together as a family without distractions and I carry that on to this day. I would never dream of a family meal with phones.
    But I think the engagement issue goes deeper than that, and encouraging the young to talk, discuss and share over dinner is Good!
    I was not brought up to be part of a conversation, and sharing my world usually resulted in me being chastised for doing/saying the wrong thing, thus I learnt to be selective with what I would talk about with my family… I had to do as I was told!!
    Now I can choose, people always come first… I choose engagement 🙂
    ~Jacs
    Jacs Henderson recently posted..How To Create, Edit, Fix & Add Effects to your Images INSIDE Your WordPress Blog…My Profile

    1. Hi Jacs, as a child we tried to have family meals together, but that didn’t always happen because my mom worked many times while we were having dinner. I agree that we need to encourage the young to talk. I find that I’m doing a much better job with my grandchildren than my children, though we sat up late many nights having great conversations. Thanks for commenting.

  8. Hi Brenda,
    Right now my son is at an age where he doesn’t want to engage, just be with his friends, and that’s alright. I write him letters. I started when he was two years old and I’ll continue for as long as possible. I believe the moments in life are so fleeting that writing to him will make memories last longer .. because they are just that precious …
    Lesly Federici recently posted..The HookMy Profile

    1. Hi Lesly, I actually love that idea! The closest I came to that was drawing little stick figures and putting little notes in my kids lunches. I did write them poems, but I think your actions will be much more appreciated. I do understand this happens at your son’s age. Thanks for commenting.

  9. Hi Bg ,
    this problem getting worse it seems .
    We do not have cell phones,but the kids have
    ipad, which is forbidden to use when we eat .
    We never watch TV and when my kids were
    young TV was only use for nice thing like shows or
    cartoons ,but never during a meal or with guests.
    It was considered rude to have TV on when somebody
    was coming where we lived .
    I had every evening a round table talk with my kids
    and I have still a round table 🙂
    I like what Lesly does ,it is a good thing to do and the
    words get not lost in the air .
    Thank you
    Erika
    Erika Mohssen-Beyk recently posted..Learning How To Learn – A Poem – Thank You AllMy Profile

    1. Hi Erika, The problem is getting worse… there is just so much distraction. There
      does seem to be more of an effort with some of our friends here to stick to family.
      I’m glad you’re able to keep the conversation going. It’s so important with kids at home.
      Thanks for commenting.

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